You Can Be Anything You Want to Be! (Nope)

How many times have we uttered this phrase to children – “You can be anything you want to be when you grow up!” – and then fill their imaginations with lavish wonders and “shoot for the moon” dreams. 

Time for a reality check. 

It’s a harsh reality to face as you move through childhood and beyond that the promises made to you by well-meaning adults set on inspiring the next generation are – in fact – false truths and unattainable, unrealistic goals. 

Let me break it down for you – as someone with a life-long, degenerative hearing loss: 

Private First Class DeMatteo: 

At one time, in the distant past, I toyed around with the idea of maybe entering the Army when I was of age – this is comical because I hate exercise, outdoor active pursuits, and being filthy – but I digress. There is a good reason why I would not be accepted into the military services – do you really want me leading you over enemy lines with a hearing loss and a stage whisper? 

This is Your Pilot Speaking: 

I love to travel, I enjoy talking with anyone and everyone about any topic, and have just enough of an attention span to keep my eyes on the friendly skies! Oh wait…headphones, those would pose a problem. Those round plastic nightmares plaster my hearing aids to the side of my head and cause intense, high screeching feedback. I also rely on lip reading – would be impossible to lip read the people in the radio tower – and they seem to be pretty important people that I would need to understand immediately. I doubt they would be willing to repeat and rephrase those urgent announcements several times in succession. Sorry, Jet Blue, you just lost your best prospective employee. 

Dr. Julie: 

“Paging Dr. DeMatteo-Lane to OR 2” – or was it, “Paging Dr. DeMatteo-Lane, Code Blue” – intercom announcements and I typically do not get along. I could have been a doctor – and a good one at that – I work hard, love to study, and have decent enough fine motor skills – but the whole “everyone in a mask” situation presents issues. “Attention – all in the operating room – if you could pull your masks down away from your face so I can lip read you that would be terrific!” I guess the only operating room I will ever be in is in my imagination at Seattle Grace with McDreamy (and we all know how that ended). 

Sign Interpreter for the Deaf: 

Oh, ok – because I’m the reliable source? No comment. 

It is time to become comfortable with the uncomfortable – and take a realistic approach when you talk with children and encourage them towards their passions and fantastical dreams. Help children recognize and appreciate their abilities – regardless of their disabilities – while motivating them to capitalize on their strengths and talents to reach achievable goals all the while acknowledging that the world is not designed with their needs in mind. The best gift you can give your child is honesty, transparency and encouragement – not false hope. 

It is time to stop lying to children – and yourself.